And Then There Were Six !!

To all my Longhorn friends out there, please do not read this post...I'm sure you have better things to do anyway.

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This week was a lot of fun, spanking the Longhorns and all. It's not that LSU fans hate the Horns, say the way OU or A&M fans do. To us, it's more of a mild amusement, especially in the way UT fans will one minute doubt their team's ability to win and the next will be telling you how they are going to (somehow) kick your ass. Tigers fans simply laugh at this mild rendition of trash talk. You see...we come from the SEC. There, not only do opposing teams tell you what Texas does but (get this...) they will also tell by what score it is going to happen. It surely has the tendency to make you doubt or at least wonder about your poor, little ole team. I mean, how do they know that? Quite simply, you come to know, is that they really don't and you've just been "schooled" in Trash Talk 101, SEC style.

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So, to all of you Horn Fans who ventured on to continue reading this thing...I say Thank You, from the bottom of my heart. Texas fans are indeed the classiest that Tigers fan have ever had the honor of competing against, in any of our National Championships, ever !! (Bare in mind that since 1991, LSU has won eight in "The Big Three"...six in baseball and two in football) Geaux Tigers !!

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Thanks, Donna, for the pix. I especially like the "Augie Burrito" one. That was Uber-Cool...

Cycling De Coded

Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers around. They'll say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don't let this happen to you. Study this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they really mean when they say:

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"I'm out of shape"

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Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.

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"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape"

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Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.

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"I'm on my beater bike"

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Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using Carbon Fiber blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.

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"It's not that hilly"

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Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. What... you only have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

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"You're doing great honey"

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Translation: You, lard ass, I'd like to get home before midnight. This is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating chocolate. I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.

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"This is a no-drop ride"

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Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs.

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"It's not that far"

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Translation: Bring your passport.

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The bottom line is that runners tend to be an honest lot and cyclists are NOT !! ; )