My New Living Will

Here is my New Living Will Form:

I, Scooter Boudreaux, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under NO circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. As a matter of fact, if a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Martini

______a Margarita

______ a Scotch and soda

______a Bloody Mary

______a Gin and Tonic

_____a Glass of Shiraz

______a Steak

______Lobster or crab legs

______The remote control

______a bowl of ice cream

______The sports page

______Chocolate
______Flying Magazine or

______Sex

It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When said determination has been reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

.

At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

.

Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________

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RANDOM NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE pass it on!