My friend Jeff calls yesterday, asking for assistance of a unique kind. I said " Jeff, I'm not in to that sort of thing, Dude!." "No, no" he says, " I need help getting rid of some squirrels in my attic." To which I replied, "well...do you just want to get rid of them 'period' or were you planning on utilizing the 'humane, relocation method'? Not one to mince words, he says "WTF...I don't care...the little bastards scared Rita (his smarter and better half) with their scratching noise up there, they're tearing up the attic and they're shitting everywhere." OK....well, now we have a plan. I'll be over in a minute.
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So, as I'm driving there...I wonder. Does he have singing squirrels? A family of squirrels? Or, simple, Mr. Bad-Ass squirrel in his attic? It matters as to how you're going to address the situation, people !! So, initially, we go with Phase I: Implementation of Live Traps. Bait them with peanut butter and set them out around the attic. Check. When we catch them, give 'em a ride.
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If that doesn't work...there's always Phase II ! Brroo-Ha-Ha....
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