Singular Sensations

The Jetsons ruined everything. Whither the flying cars? And the jet pack in every garage? Weren't we meant to have these by now? Still not all space-age suburban dreams have gone the way of the moving sidewalks and robot maids. Case in point: the jet in every garage, a fantasy of mine slated to turn into reality in the form of ultra-low-cost, single-engine jets. First, I'll need to complete those flying lessons, out at the Taylor Airport...

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The one that currently has my eye is the Eclipse Concept Jet. It is much like their twin jet, the 500. Still, the folks at Eclipse (those coy bastards) won't officially confirm that this single-engine model will ever be sold. This sporty, car-like four-seater has a Pratt & Whitney turbofan mounted atop the fuselage. Its tail is a large v-shaped structure, giving a place for all that jet thrust to go. And, it looks cool, too !!

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I could see Bond zipping around in one of these little devils. Say hello to my leetle friend...

Cooked In Classics

Earlier this week, I golfed with some work buddies at the Matt's El Rancho tournament where liquor vendors of the tequila genre were giving out samples of their wares. One of these had a sample table arranged at the course turn around area, with their lovely and attractive marketing reps (One of which talked two of my buddies into wearing girly, tubing-down-the-Guadalupe River-type of pseudo Cowgirl hats...but that's another story) working it.

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After the round was over, we returned there for dinner. Those same reps were still pouring the Margaritas. So, I go over to get one to have with my meal. No to be outdone by her earlier failed attempt, the primary sales chica (we'll call her) asks me why I wouldn't take one of their "cute" hats to wear during the golf round. So, I tell her that besides clashing with my "Inner Paris Hilton" I actually have a biz question for her, if she can answer it. "Do you possibly know of any new or cool Tequilas that are either out or soon to be released," I ask. The look on her face was a Kodak moment, indeed. She then shifts mental gears proceeds to tell me of a company called Siembra's new tequila line.
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Now, we've all heard of beer-massaged Kobe cows, but tequila serenaded with classical music? Well, that's just silly. Still , such is the ostensible secret behind Siembra Azul, the anejo version of which debuts later this month. Developed by Philadelphia restaurateur David Suro, who returned to his homeland in Mexico's Jalisco Highlands to make it, Siembra Azul is treated --no joke here--to round-the-clock Vivaldi and Mozart classics from the Baroque period, whose mellow rhythms and soothing vibrations supposedly aid in fermentation.
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Now, I thought this gal was pulling my leg again but I let her finish... She went on to say that with only 2,750 cases being produced each year, it may prove challenging for me to get a case to give as Holiday presents to my...ahem, tequila and Margarita-oriented friends. A challenge for Scooter does not go unmet. We'll see about that !!

Life As A Bus Ride

In 2005 I had the great pleasure of listening to an audio book of Dr. Wayne Dyer. He was speaking on ‘The Power of Intention’ and I remember him comparing life to a journey in a trolley holding onto a trolley strap. I would like to paraphrase his analogy and compare life to riding on a bus.

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You see this bus takes you wherever you’re supposed to go throughout your whole life. Now the bus is going to stop and it’s going to pick up all kinds of people along the way. Some of them are going to get on and they're going to go for the whole ride, your whole life. Some people are going to get on and only be there for a short time and then get off. Some of them are going to get on and then they're going to get off and you’re going to keep going on in life and somewhere down the road they're going to get on again.

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Surely you can all relate to this? A parent leaves, a friendship falls a part, a family member dies. Now of course not every experience on the bus is a negative one. Falling in love, the birth of a child, starting a new job can bring wonderful people and experiences into your life.You see the fantastic thing about this bus is that it stops exactly where it is supposed to and picks up exactly who it is supposed to pick up.

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As long as you are on this bus, whoever it is supposed to pick up and whoever it is supposed to drop off and however long they are supposed to stay, all of this is part of the perfection of your life. Whether the experience was positive or negative, everyone who shows up in your life shows up exactly on time. I assure you that there are never any mistakes. Each encounter, each experience is something that we attracted into our life.

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The confusing part can be when you try to make sense of it. Why did I attract such a negative experience, a painful experience, a bad relationship with that person? Why is this person in my life so annoying? Well, here is what the "Bus Ride" analogy has taught me these past two years. Once you can accept that the bus of life picks up and drops off exactly who it is supposed to, for as long as it is supposed to, you then need to change the way you look at things. One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Dyer is “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

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Relative to the "negative" experiences, instead of always looking for the ‘why’s, try looking for the ‘what’s. What has this relationship/experience taught me about myself, about life? What can I do to stop repeating the same mistakes and repeating the same experiences over and over again? What can I do differently in order to stop attracting the same type of people into my life over and over?

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Regarding the "good" or fun experiences, he says to not be concerned with it...simply go with the flow and enjoy the ride, as life is intented to be! This was my favorite part.

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We can’t always find the answers to why something happens in our life or why someone shows up, but we can always find a what – what can I bring to this experience, what can I take away (learn) from it, what has it taught me about myself and the world, what can I change within myself? So whether you buy into the bus analogy, changing the way you look at things, or not. I would encourage you to try this! Just try looking for ‘what’s instead of ‘why’s. Try to accept that every experience (positive/negative) has been presented to your life exactly when it was supposed to. I believe that these two simple steps will change your life forever.

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Oh yeah...and I don't want to hear any grief for being philosophical, today. ...lol

El Rancho Whaaat ?

Cruising through the hillcountry on a biz trip on Mondays is usually not very interesting....you know, the work thing, and all. However, this one was different. As I was going down SH 46, in Bergheim, TX, here's what I spotted.

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Also, I'm usually not one for festive, frilly foo-foo decorations but this one was both funny and cool ! Check it out...

Round Rock Outlaw

Yep...that's me, appropriately named. Scooter Da' Bandit. Here's a photo of my friend Stephen and I at this ride, this past Saturday, taking off from the Start (I'm in the Texas jersey in the center, at the base of the balloons and he's to my right). It was loads of fun to ride and cut-up with all of the other riders. I could have ridden all day long. Also, I've come to the conclusion that cyclist are some of the most social of all athletes. Moreover, every ride I've ever done was always loads of fun and a good opportunity to meet new people, some more gregarious than others but interesting nonetheless. That one little vixen still comes to mind, while we were discussing the Tao Te Ching....

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By contrast, runners are serene and quite. For example, Sunday morning I rode with my friend I.C.E. (the closet Hill Billy) around the northern part of 360 and on to the IBM Uptown Classic 10k, near the Dominion. As we pulled up to the event, you could have heard a pin drop... Quite different, indeed. I'm still "considering" doing the running thing but have yet to pull the trigger as yet. Stay tuned...

The Daily Adventures of Scooter

Yesterday was quite the interesting day, to say the least. First, a biz trip to SA to meet with a squirrelly client. That's when I came across the first photo ( right) , in Drippings Springs. (Shhh...don't tell anyone but that is my short cut way into North or West SA, via 281. If they find out, then it'll get really busy out there...so, again...mum's the word about that). Now, I, Scooter, will be going to my cousin, Scooby's, carnival that day. What else would I do, then, anyway??

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Then, it was back to Austin, drop off work stuff, load up cycling stuff and off to the Veloway to ride with Iron Chick Erin, C.B.A. ??, who hypothetically had some very significant work developments to review. (Insert Texas drawl) Shoot, I'll tell you what...I'd kick them in the nuts, when they weren't looking, for less than that! ...sniff

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Anyway, when as I drove up, this (above, left) is what I found in my yard. I just about fell out !! What the hell... And, as I explained to my neighbor Matt, who came over to cajole/congratulate me, I maintain my yard because that is something I do for myself, not that silly HOA. Anyway...I suppose I'll leave it out there for the month. Maybe this will create a brief reprieve from those snippy little letters that they like to send me, periodically...

Veloway Fun-age

This weekend was a usual, cycling stuff going on, kind of weekend. Saturday, was the Veloway...it has become one of my local favorites, primarily because it is easy to ride and quite safe. Without the presence of cars, you can relax and ride as you would like. More importantly, are the cycling buddies I've made out there. Most recently, were the meetings two, in particular, Charles Thibodeaux and Moe.

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Charles is a fellow Cajun Dude and the lead singer of The Bayou Cajun Band, that currently plays on Monday evenings at The Evangeline Cafe, on Brodie Lane. I indicated to him that I would certainly go there, to both check out his band's play and to sample the "groceries" of the restaurant, itself. I'm really looking forward to that experience. It's difficult to find good renditions of either of those, here in Central Texas. Back to the story...

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Moe, is a very gregarious and unique sort of fellow. He looks to be no more than 55-60 years old but actually is 67 and he can, quite amazingly, ride nearly as fast as much younger cyclists. Of note, here, is that he recently completed the Hotter'N Hell Hundred, in Wichita Falls, TX. Very impressive for anyone but especially for this older gentleman.

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As it turns out, these two guys know each other from both previous event rides and from the Veloway, itself. So, Charles shared a very funny story recently, about riding out at there once, with a friend of his from out of town. I queried him if it was Boudreaux, himself...but he said it was not. (So much for that potential joke.).

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Back to Charles' story... It begins when some old guy on a road bike passes them up, during a ride one day. Not to be outdone, they pursue the old cyclist. Ironically, neither he nor his friend can actually catch up with him, for like three or four laps !! So, they gave up. Later that morning, they see this same old guy sitting on the bench, relaxing, under the oak tree near the entrance of the Veloway park. So, they go over to introduce themselves and subsequently have a good laugh at themselves, as they explained to Moe what they attempted to do, earlier.

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This is the stuff comedic cycling legends are made from...

No Better Days

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. --Mark Twain

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Today, I think I shall take his and Gary Larson's advice. I'll be playing golf later this afternoon. And, yes, I believe that may be considered by some to be "playing hookey." But, HEY, what better day to have fun than today? I think we should all do this more often...

Traumatized Tebow

Despite all this "spin" of Florida Quarterback Tim Tebow's Heisman-esque Sainthood by the UF Athletic Dept., he has secrets he doesn't want to get out. Yes, besides being the perfect athlete, going out and bringing 20,000 people to the Lord on Missionary trips, and coaching the School for the Deaf's football team in his spare time he has certain traits he keeps in the closet. These are indeed Shocking Facts that you might not know:

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(1) Believes the Hokie Pokie is what it is all about.

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(2) CAN believe it's not butter!

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(3) Doesn't tip the talent at Hooters! (He'll burn for that one !!)

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(4) Dances in the shower to Wham's, Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.

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(5) Whenever he is up for some giggles he goes home throws in The Pride of the Yankees into the DVD player and fast forward to when "Lou" Gehrig gets amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and just laughs and laughs and laughs.

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(6) He Shot JR.

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(7) Writes NSF checks for Girl Scout cookies.

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(8) Is so simple even a caveman can do him!

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(9) Is so good that the NCAA should pass a bylaw requiring the names on the backs of all the 84 other Florida Gators to read “NOT TEBOW.” This way, no one will turn on their TV sets, see a blue Florida Gator jersey under a pile and grow excited, only to cry uncontrollably when they realize that the Florida Gator in question is not #15 Tim Tebow but someone else!! (Of course he has been known to cry himself....see above, post LSU Ass-Whippin' Game on Saturday Night in Death Valley).

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10) Orders apple martinis.

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(11) Is Mark Foley's illegitimate son.

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(12) Thinks that The Waterboy accurately reflect life in Louisiana. (Announcer's voice: And here he comes #15....) (Now, Bobby Boucher's voice: Moma says, you Da' Devil, Mista' Tebow! Rrrreeeeee !! And then, there was the sound of extremely sincere contact).

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(13) Gives Kirk Herbstreet hair styling tips.

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(14) Convinced Marcia Clark to make OJ try on the glove.

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(15) Gave Nick Saban PR advice to say "I'm not going to be the next coach at Alabama."

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(16) Thinks Tiger Stadium is cheering for him (see "Caveman" analogy in #8, above).

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(17) Thought the Gator Chomp meant "love you this much!"

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(18) Puts his mouth on the public water fountain (major Eeeyyehh Factor here).

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(19) Led the PETA effort to prevent LSU from replacing Mike V.

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and Finally (20) Invented new Coke and the Weedeater.

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Let's give a big round of Tiger Bait applause for Mr. Tebow !!

Scooter Indicted !!

Last Friday, Scooter, the well-known stagehand and "go-fer" at his uncle's theater where the Muppet Show was filmed during the mid-70's, was indicted on five felony counts by a grand jury, including two counts of obstruction, two counts of lying under oath, and one count of attempting to undermine a federal investigation. Under these charges, he could face up to 30 years in prison and $1.25 million in fines.
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Over the last two years, an ongoing investigation has been trying to determine where a leak came from, outing covert CIA agent Miss Piggy shortly after her husband, Kermit the Frog, wrote an Op-Ed piece for the New York Times that criticized the current administration's reasons for going to war.
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At a press conference last week, Special Prosecutor Sam the Eagle spoke to reporters about the indictment, going to great lengths to point out that it was not his job to determine whether the war against the "Spittin' Image" puppets was justified.
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"I am here to see to it that justice is done," Sam the Eagle insisted. "And to show the world that we will not tolerate these weirdos. Someone leaked Miss Piggy's name to the press, and I have enough proof to justify bringing charges against Mr. Scooter." Sam the Eagle, i.e., The Prosecutor, who has worked for decades to improve to moral fabric of these United States, was chosen by the current administration specifically to investigate the leak. Some conservatives, however, such as Gonzo the Great and Rowlf the Dog, have made it clear that the Special Prosecutor may have overstepped his original mandate.

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"He was told to look in to the leak itself," said one source, who asked not to be identified. "But, because he couldn't find anything proving the leak was an organized effort, he brought out this indictment to make it look like he had accomplished something over the past two years."
Others, including Miss Piggy's Husband, Kermit the Frog, have praised Sam the Eagle, saying that it was all but impossible to come up with any useful information concerning the leak because of Scooter's lies.

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"My wife's life may have been put in danger," said Kermit at a press conference shortly after the indictment was read, "and Scooter, among others, lied about their connection to it. I look forward to the follow-up investigation."

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The investigation is ongoing, and while the Special Prosecutor says that the remaining part consists mostly of "tying up loose ends," sources close to the investigation say that the focus has moved from Scooter to Fozzy Bear after it was revealed that this was where Scooter learned the identity of Piggy.

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Scooter leaves the courthouse...( see photo, above). Some insiders insist that this case has implications that reach even further.

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"This is big, really big," said Dr. Teeth, the leader of the house band during the Muppet Show's five seasons on the air. "If the bear is fingered, he's going to squeal like a pig, if you catch my drift. Names will be named. It's going to get ugly."

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Scooter worked for the Muppet Show, where it is believed he learned of Piggy's covert status, for almost twenty years before he was let go after his uncle, who owned the theater, passed away. Some insiders insist that that this caused a serious rift between him and Piggy's husband, Kermit, which eventually lead to the leaking of classified information.

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Seen leaving the courthouse after the indictment was read, Scooter appeared upbeat. "I'm going to go home and rest up," he told reporters. "I've got a busy day tomorrow." "Quite frankly...I don't know what these people are talking about ! (...sniff of defiance)
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Fozzy Bear has been decidedly quiet during these proceedings, but when confronted by reporters outside his home at Yellowstone National Park, Fozzy was quoted as saying, "I plan to have a nice weekend, and I hope you all do, too. Wakka wakka."
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More on this story as it develops...