Scooter Indicted !!

Last Friday, Scooter, the well-known stagehand and "go-fer" at his uncle's theater where the Muppet Show was filmed during the mid-70's, was indicted on five felony counts by a grand jury, including two counts of obstruction, two counts of lying under oath, and one count of attempting to undermine a federal investigation. Under these charges, he could face up to 30 years in prison and $1.25 million in fines.
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Over the last two years, an ongoing investigation has been trying to determine where a leak came from, outing covert CIA agent Miss Piggy shortly after her husband, Kermit the Frog, wrote an Op-Ed piece for the New York Times that criticized the current administration's reasons for going to war.
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At a press conference last week, Special Prosecutor Sam the Eagle spoke to reporters about the indictment, going to great lengths to point out that it was not his job to determine whether the war against the "Spittin' Image" puppets was justified.
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"I am here to see to it that justice is done," Sam the Eagle insisted. "And to show the world that we will not tolerate these weirdos. Someone leaked Miss Piggy's name to the press, and I have enough proof to justify bringing charges against Mr. Scooter." Sam the Eagle, i.e., The Prosecutor, who has worked for decades to improve to moral fabric of these United States, was chosen by the current administration specifically to investigate the leak. Some conservatives, however, such as Gonzo the Great and Rowlf the Dog, have made it clear that the Special Prosecutor may have overstepped his original mandate.

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"He was told to look in to the leak itself," said one source, who asked not to be identified. "But, because he couldn't find anything proving the leak was an organized effort, he brought out this indictment to make it look like he had accomplished something over the past two years."
Others, including Miss Piggy's Husband, Kermit the Frog, have praised Sam the Eagle, saying that it was all but impossible to come up with any useful information concerning the leak because of Scooter's lies.

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"My wife's life may have been put in danger," said Kermit at a press conference shortly after the indictment was read, "and Scooter, among others, lied about their connection to it. I look forward to the follow-up investigation."

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The investigation is ongoing, and while the Special Prosecutor says that the remaining part consists mostly of "tying up loose ends," sources close to the investigation say that the focus has moved from Scooter to Fozzy Bear after it was revealed that this was where Scooter learned the identity of Piggy.

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Scooter leaves the courthouse...( see photo, above). Some insiders insist that this case has implications that reach even further.

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"This is big, really big," said Dr. Teeth, the leader of the house band during the Muppet Show's five seasons on the air. "If the bear is fingered, he's going to squeal like a pig, if you catch my drift. Names will be named. It's going to get ugly."

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Scooter worked for the Muppet Show, where it is believed he learned of Piggy's covert status, for almost twenty years before he was let go after his uncle, who owned the theater, passed away. Some insiders insist that that this caused a serious rift between him and Piggy's husband, Kermit, which eventually lead to the leaking of classified information.

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Seen leaving the courthouse after the indictment was read, Scooter appeared upbeat. "I'm going to go home and rest up," he told reporters. "I've got a busy day tomorrow." "Quite frankly...I don't know what these people are talking about ! (...sniff of defiance)
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Fozzy Bear has been decidedly quiet during these proceedings, but when confronted by reporters outside his home at Yellowstone National Park, Fozzy was quoted as saying, "I plan to have a nice weekend, and I hope you all do, too. Wakka wakka."
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More on this story as it develops...